Ohh her.

Lately(past few months) I just...I don't know. I've been so confused, about everything. More confused than I've ever been. I really need things to clear up. Cause like I barely know who I am anymore, I'm a stranger to myself. Well, pieces of me here and there are recognizable, but like over all I'm just...yeah...not recognizable. If I were to walk past myself on a sidewalk in a park I probably wouldn't even notice me. And what makes it worse is that people who know me would notice me. They'd see the outside version of me and say "hey, there goes you!" and I'd be all like "uhh, where?" And then they'd point, and I would say "ohh, you mean her. Sorry I didn't recognize her, umm I mean me." And then I would look over this person that they say I am. I would see little snippets here and there that remind me of me, and I'd begin to believe that this person is actually me! Then I would lock eyes and see right through to the inside of her. And immediately I'd say "nope, that is totally not me, not at all!" 

Fairy Lover

I love fairies. I really don't know why though. I don't even believe they exist, I just love the idea of them existing. Is that what a myth is? When you know something isn't true but you like the idea of it being true, so you hold it as the truth anyway? Or is that just believing a lie? What's the difference between a myth and a lie? I don't know, anyway, back to the fairies... So yeah, I'm intrigued my fairies and the history surrounding them and their powers. Like this one fairy, my favorite, called a Leanan Sídhe, (pronounced LAN-AN SHE) meaning fairy lover. Here's an excerpt from the Wikipedia page on them.

             The leannán sídhe is generally depicted as a beautiful muse who offers inspiration to an artist in exchange for their love and devotion; however, this frequently results in madness for the artist, as well as premature death. W. B. Yeats popularized a slightly different perspective on these spirits with emphasis on their vampiric tendencies:^[2]

The Leanhaun Shee (fairy mistress) seeks the love of mortals. If they refuse, she must be their slave; if they consent, they are hers, and can only escape by finding another to take their place. The fairy lives on their life, and they waste away. Death is no escape from her. She is the Gaelic muse, for she gives inspiration to those she persecutes. The Gaelic poets die young, for she is restless, and will not let them remain long on earth—this malignant phantom. 

Source: Wikipedia®

Sorries

I've been quite bitchy this past week. I don't know what's wrong with me lately, I've been acting like the world revolves around me and my plans. I've been very inconsiderate and oblivious to everyone else's feelings. I'm just realizing it now. I need to go say some sorries.