Not to fail.

I'm frustrated too. I'm more frustrated with my life right now than you think. More frustrated than you can understand. You think I'm just not trying. And you are right in a way, I'm not trying to do better. The only thing I'm trying to do is not give up, not to fail. That's all I can do right now.

Shortness of breath

You taught me the courage of the stars before you left / how life carries on even after death / with shortness of breath you explained the infinite / how rare and beautiful it is to even exist.

- Saturn by Atlas

Failed Test Pt.2 // You Know Who You Are

Here and there I would test you by letting you in on little bits of the real me. I'd say things I didn't normally say and then wait for your reaction. But you weren't paying attention so you missed it and failed the test over and over. I tried to catch you when you were the least busy, which was at night when everyone else had gone to bed and you were still awake. But you always had some type of distraction and would usually send me away. I would laugh and joke a little, but in my mind as I walked away I would mark the test with an F. I had pity on you at times, I wish you could've known who I really was. Honestly, I'd would have let you see me if you had passed just one test. I'm naive like that, listen once and I'll tell you it all. I'll let you hold my soul in your hands. And even if you fail I'll keep trying, I have a strong need to show myself to someone. Someone turned into anyone, anyone that cared in the least. Some of my deepest thoughts were known by strangers rather than the people closest to me. Rather than you. Because the strange thing was that they got passing grades.